Suburban Outpost

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Planet Grondahl

Looks like the co-founder of Planet Fitness has gone all Tom & Gisele on us by building a Taj Grondahl only to turn right around and sell it.  Maybe they should put in a call to Dr. Dre, see if he wants this one, too.  Don’t worry, this is a Judgement-Free Zone® and the Winni Loon loves a great NH biz success story.

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So, yeah, it’s large.  15,000 sq ft large.  Also, there’s no moat but there is a river/harbor/ocean.  Take that Tom Bundchen Brady!

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After a long day of kicking lunks out of your gym (one of the best commercials evah!), I guess you spend your time buying shoes and cars.

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Click on over to zillow for a bunch more pics including a kitchen that’s complete with 3 fridges, 3 dishwashers, and 2 islands.  Hey ballerz, there’s an indoor court.  The address is undisclosed but the aerial puts it on Little Harbor Rd in Portsmouth, just off Sagamore.

Oct 8

Salem

This house is so big, it’s got two front doors!

Beautiful home, huge spaces, 3-car garage, in-ground pool, Azek, generator, pond out back for the Winni Loon.  Havin a hard time finding fault with this thing.  I could be picky and point out it’s on a darn private septic.  Hate those things.  It’s also in a neighborhood association.  Hate those things, too.  Fair warning: dangerously close to Massachusetts.

It’s listed under a million but also a big jump over last sale in 2011 at $835k.  Not sure that’s justified.  Check it, buddy.  It’s linky link time!

Bring Your Car Collection

OK, The Winni Loon can get around so today brings us to a hilltop manse in Keene.  25 Acres with view of Mt Monadnock.  That’s it waaaay out there.  The mountain, not the house.  Why would I show such a distant shot of the house?  I wouldn’t.  Come on now.

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Here’s the house.

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Looks great so far.  In fact, as much as the Winni Loon like to rip a property, there’s not much to dislike here.  The house shows like a million bucks (it’s listed for way more, $2.749M).  The design and decoration has a real wine country look to it. 

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There’s even an art studio.

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One thing sticks out like a sore thumb to me, though.  What’s with those upholstered, office-looking chairs in the kitchen?  Everything else really works but they seem way out of place.  Kinda like a couple of Keene High kids rolling into the bar at the Valley Green for some late night cold ones.  It’s just doesn’t work (DAMHIK).

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I can’t believe it took this long to get to the kick ass garages.  I almost lost count but there’s a 3 car attached, 2 car detached, & 5 car detached.  Mind blown. 

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With all those classic cars, you might think the seller doesn’t care much about their carbon footprint.  HA, you’d be wrong.  Check it buddy, solar panels, FTW.

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Wow, the Winni Loon loves him some solar power.  There are many other great things going on with this house which you can check out here.  If you want to live in Keene and you have big bucks, you can do no better than this. 

Miami Vice Comes to Mind

Ok, this one’s a doozy.  What we have here is 365 Glass Block Rd Fox Point Road in Newington, NH.  Did I say that out loud?  The Winni Loon has some strong opinions about some stuff here.  Yes, they musta gotta a wicked deal on some glass block over at…wait, where would you even buy glass block?  It was built in 1989 so maybe everyone sold it back then. 

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There’s a color theme running through the whole design.  It’s very simple: if it ain’t white, it’s green.  Guess it made the choices easier.  I know it’s easy to undo the green carpet debacle but have a look:

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I know there’s no accounting for taste and this architecture could be just what someone’s looking for.  There’s an ass for every seat, right? 

There’s plenty that saves this property.  Look at that sunset and waterfront!

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Picture your boat at the end of that massive dock (size matters no matter what they say).  You have direct access to the Atlantic Ocean.  Motor down to the Portsmouth docks, tie up at Martingale, and ask the bar tender for a watermelon martini for your girl.  It’s not on the drink menu anymore but they’ll know what you’re talking about.

You get 5 acres on Little Bay in low-tax Newington.  Your tax bill is just north of $13k.  Across the water in Durham, your annual property tax hit would be $43k.  Think about that for a second.  Newington is an oasis in a high property tax state.  The Winni Loon is all about being smart with taxes!

It’s been on the market for close to a year at it’s current price ($3M).  I’m pretty sure it’s been on the market for longer than a year, maybe at a higher price.  The Winni Loon senses a deal could be had.

More info and pics here.

Tuftonboro

OK, the Winni Loon loves him some waterfront on the big lake (Winnipesaukee, duh!).  You’d think a bird wouldn’t need a whole lot in the way of creature comforts but YOU’D BE WRONG!  He has very high standards when it comes to a lake house.  Thankfully, so do many others, so there are quite a few places on Winni that’ll fit the bill (pun sooo intended).

Case in point, 19 Sawyers Point Rd, Tuftonboro.  The numbers (including the price) will blow you away.  6500sqft, 5 bed, 5 bath, 1.1 acres, 220ft waterfront, $3.895M.  Wow, you say, what a place.  Stop it, I’m not done yet. 

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It has what might be the hardest-to-find combo around:  boathouse and in-ground pool.

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I don’t know about you, but that lake doesn’t ever really warm up for very long.  It’s a short season, no doubt.  That pool gives you so much more of a summer when you’re not ready to dip your toe in the lake or round about early September when the temps really fall off.

And the boathouse, come on!  If you have Winni waterfront with a boathouse, you are officially a big dog.  No boathouse?  You ain’t no big dog.  Sorry Governor’s Island peeps, don’t see a lot of boathouses over there.

Time to nit pick a little though.  Central A/C is not listed which many won’t care about but at this price and quality it seems like a major fail.  Hot, muggy nights are for camps, not this place. 

Also, it has what’s known in the industry as a “perched beach”.  What a crock that is.  They took a bag of beach sand and dumped it on the grass near the edge of the water.  Some beach, huh?

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Check out more pics on zillow.com.  They say it’s been on the market for 135 days but also show it listed back in 2009 for a whole lot more, $4.495M.  It’s basically been on the market since then so the seller might take $3M and a ham sandwich at this point.  I’ve known some houses to sit on the market a while but this is nutz!  Keep that in mind when you buy a big $$$ house, it might not be the easiest thing to move one day.  Up keep and a $20k annual tax bill for a short-season vaca house can be hard to stomach unless you are crazy have boatloads of cash!

Welcome to Suburban Outpost!

Let me introduce you to the Winni Loon! 

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He’s crazy about New Hampshire real estate.  He flies all around the Granite State checking out some of the most interesting homes on the market.  Keep in mind, he is a loon, so sometimes he says some crazy stuff about these homes!  Nothing personal, Winni is a straight shooter.